7 Things Apple will Definitely Not Announce Tomorrow

7 Things Apple will Definitely Not Announce Tomorrow

By Rich W Woods

Tomorrow, Apple is holding an event where they will launch the Apple Watch, along with a few other products. While it is a mystery as to what they will definitely announce, here are a few things they definitely will not announce.

The iRack

The world needs a smart rack. I know I do. Unfortunately, this guy failed in Apple’s marketing department.

The iRan

This was going to be the original name for the Apple Watch; however, it got scrapped and was later going to be a cheaper alternative to the Apple Watch, a simple fitness band. Unfortunately, this idea was shot down by Apple’s marketing department as well.

The Apple Pi

We all love our Raspberry Pis, right? Apple was working on another little credit card sized, ARM based PC that would run iOS; however, it got scrapped as Apple Pi doesn’t associate with their brand well.

The iRock

The iRock has been rumored to be released since the early days of Apple, when it was popular to have a pet rock. Back then, the next big innovative thing to come from Apple. Times have changed and the iRock would no longer be the innovative thing it would have been in the early 80s.

The Apple Jet Pack

Over a year ago, I reported that Apple was working on a jetpack. Of course, I only tried to start this rumor so I could get my hands on a Samsung Galaxy Jet Pack. There is no chance that Apple is going to launch a jet pack tomorrow; however, it’s friggin 2015. Where the hell is my jet pack?

Apple Television

An Apple Television doesn’t sound as absurd as the items above, but at this point, it really is. Apple is clearly not, at this point, getting into the set top box business. They are a computer company, not an electronics company. Get over it folks. It’s not coming. Buy an Apple TV box and hook it up to your TV.

I’m sure that Apple considered an Apple Television and realized that it would be priced too high for something that will be obsolete in three years. After all, smart TVs do become obsolete after a couple years and it’s easier and cheaper to replace a box than a whole TV. If Apple was to make a television, it would probably be 4K and very expensive.

The Apple Time Machine

Everyone is predicting the doom of Apple. In 2001, Steve Jobs announced the iPod. In 2007, he announced the iPhone. In 2010, he announced the iPad. He died in 2011. By 2012, everyone said that Apple couldn’t innovate anymore because they didn’t introduce any new product categories.

There have been rumors that in Apple’s secret labs, they are working on a time machine, where they can travel to the future, find a cure for Steve Jobs, and bring it back to 2010 before he started getting really sick. Unfortunately, this time machine will not be ready for a launch tomorrow.

About the author
Rich Woods

Being a computer programmer wasn't enough to fulfill his love of technology. In 2013, Rich founded For the Love of Tech and has been writing about his love of tech ever since.